How fucking bored am I? Bored fucking shitless! I'll tell you how bored I am, shall I? I'm this fucking bored......
There's this thing... a fucking cactus or something....and it's got this huge enormous cock of a flower....that is truly fucking enormous.....and it only happens once every bleeding century....but I'll tell you what! It ain't half fucking boring. It's been growing and fucking growing for bloody weeks now. Then it grew these ..arms or fucking twigs or some cunt, I don't know....... looked some bloody alien; abso-bloody-lutely ridiculous it looks......and then after weeks more of that, without the faintest hint of embarrassment, it went all yellow and flowery. What's more, it's still fucking yellow and flowery! Why's it taking so damn long? What's the problem? Get on with it ya cunt! I bin watching you for bloody weeks and months and....you're just so fucking slow! It's completely boring ya cunt. I don't know how much more I can take........
Look at these if you don't believe me, ya cunt.
Here's the helmet of the big cocky thing.......
...and here's the arms! Just fucking weird man! It's like......"ooooowww! I'm the bogey-man, cum to get ya! Whooooaaaa!" Fucking scary dude! You got me!
Cunt!
And here's the yellow bits....though they don't really look yellow there, so.....
....I took this one! It's fucking boring innit?
Fucking months it's been going on like that. And every cunting day I sit there watching, getting pissed, smoking myself to fucking death, waiting for some-bloody-thing to happen!
And does it?
Does it fuck! What sort of an attitude is that?
"Oh, I guess I could...oh maybe, open a fucking flower today! But then again......let's just think about it for a cunting while!"
If I carried on like that, ya cunt, I'd never get to open my first beer of the day! What the fuck are you doing?
Do you know, interested reader, that the cunt only opened 12 of those fucking yellow things yesterday! Fucking 12, little, tiddly-fucking-widdly yellow bits! It's fucking 6 meters high and it opened fucking 12. In a whole day!
See what I mean? The very fucking definition of boredom!
Anyway, when I get bored of watching the fucking yellow bits open I press the gas pedal a bit and move onto counting fucking cracks in the floor tiles. Of which there a fucking load. When I can be bothered I'll show a picture. But I always lose count at about fucking 70!
Why 70?
I don't know, ya cunt! If I knew that don't ya think I'd skip 70 or fucking something. It's about 70, not on 70! And after I've lost count three or four times I'm pretty fucking knackered, so I take a fucking sleep.
Sweet dreams. Ya cunt.
P fucking S. The bogey-man's coming! Whoooaaa! Ya cunt!
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