I've been more bored shitless than usual the past few days and that is saying something. And the reason for this slump - the funny thing is that I didn't know I could actually be MORE bored than I already was, but life is full of unpleasant surprises. Whoopee! Lucky fucking me! - in my boredom levels?
The fucking Olympics! I don't even have a bleeding TV and I still can't escape those fleet-footed fuckers in lurid groin-grabbing lycra. GET OUT OF MY LIFE, YA CUNTS! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK THAT YOU CAN USE YOUR FUCKING OLYMPIAN COCK TO HIT A HOME RUN IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING QUEEN OR ANY-FUCKING-THING-ELSE.
JUST FUCK OFF, YA CUNTS!
But they won't, will they, the buggers! They're fucking persistent little fuckers. It's like their lycra can grab onto my life as it grabs onto their fucking bollocks. Do you know what I mean?
Tightly! Too fucking tightly!
And who the fuck is Hussain Bolt anyway? I don't fucking know..... and that other fucker, Michael Phillips, the guy with the fucking aqualung inside his body. I wanna know what happened to all the other cunts in his races. In the changing room beforehand maybe he goes round hypnotizing them, waving his bank book about in front of them......"Ooooeerr! Look how much money I've got, ya cunts!"...and when they look, they get fucking zapped with some fucking tool bought from Paul McKenna's poxy website, "yeah that's right, you front crawling fuckers and butterfly stroking bastards, I've got fucking more money than you'll ever have, ya cunts! Now go out there and do me fucking proud. Lose, ya cunts! AGAIN!"
And they do! Only fucking explanation, if you ask me. Ya cunt!
Look at this silly wanker! That's my mate...I lose the word mate loosely...cos I really can't be associated with anyone who's arse is truly that fucking hairy! Zoom in if you don't believe me, ya cunt!- so, that's my mate doing his Sumo bit! But if you ask me it looks like he's taking a dump in that bucket! Either that, or he's just finished and is peering into the bucket to see what creatures he gave birth to during the voiding of the bowels that surely preceded this fucking shit-awful picture!
And in this picture it looks like a homesick turd has tried to crawl up leg and he's shaking it off! Fucking hell, what a twat! Actually, I've just noticed that I'm in this picture......I'm the one sitting in the back, fucking bored and shouting, "put ya fucking keks on, ya cunt!"
I would have kicked the fucker up the jacksee if I'd not been so worried about loosing me me flip-flops! What a right....tit!??**!! And this left tit's not half bad either!
So if you see me the street - unlikely, but if you do - then don't mention the fucking Olympics if you want to keep me fucking interested. Ya bunch-a-cunts!
Now...fuck off and do summat with your life!
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